Dancing… it’s a form of expression, freedom, connection and at the same time being totally in the here and now. It’s more than a year ago that I started dancing and I still remember the day like it was yesterday.
“I knew that if I wanted to face my fears and let go of the limits they gave me in life, I had to start partner dancing”
In the weeks before my introduction lessons I noticed I felt fearful. There are moral and ethical boundaries in life, and when you have the experience of people crossing those boundaries it makes you feel insecure and full of fear. Trust in yourself and others is essential to find your path in life. And I knew, if I wanted to face my fears and let go of the limits it gave me in life, I had to start partner dancing. I first thought of Salsa lessons. It kind of gave me a sense of security, there was still an arm’s length in between. That was until I read there was a Kizomba introduction lesson right after my Salsa introduction lesson. So I did some research to learn about Kizomba and I soon realized one thing: If I really wanted to face my fears, I had to start dancing Kizomba…
It doesn’t matter why you start dancing, whether it’s fears and insecurities, to make new friends or find new love, to enjoy life or to feel happy. Dancing is an outlet, a way to process things that happen during the day, the week or in your life. It’s therapeutic in a way, if you dare to take those steps.
So that’s what I did. Lesson after lesson I faced the fear of letting people come close. And slowly I started to feel comfortable being in connection with a partner and with people in general. A year later, a lot has changed. As soon as the music starts, my energy starts to flow. I now ask men to dance with me, instead of waiting for them to ask me. It’s in my own hands to have a great evening on the dancefloor and not up to anybody else to create that for me.
Dancing makes me feel more feminine, by making myself look beautiful and sexy. The flowing movements, the connection with others, it makes me experience true freedom. The moment I dance, it’s just me and my dance partner. I forget everything, my mind calms down and let things go. And then I haven’t even started about all the beautiful people I have met at the dancing scene. They bring me a feeling of richness, a sense of community, of fulfillment, connection, to be seen, heard and loved and give that same feeling back to others.
I love the fact that every partner dances in a different way. Every leader leads in a different way, a unique style and footprint. Just like every dance school teaches differently. I think that makes every song, every dance and every dancer unique in his or her own energy, connection and style. Still, dancing is an universal language. A shared passion, a shared feeling, a shared connection, a shared love for music and movement. If energy is felt and it clicks, you experience that deep connection on the dancefloor that seems to bring you to a totally different dimension which I can’t explain in words.
Until this very day I am grateful for every step that I took, every dance that I made and every dance partner that I have met and had the pleasure to dance with. It gave me a great opportunity to grow as a person. It brought out the real feminine beautiful woman that I am. And it gave so much more color and meaning to my life.
LOTTE STOFFELEN
Guest Blogger
I started writing therapeutically for myself in 2013, having experienced a few challenges in life. Since 2016, I started sharing my stories on Facebook to inspire others. In my opinion, we are never alone in what we experience in life. By sharing and connecting, I believe we can make life’s challenges less challenging. People relate to what I write and have kept on telling me I should do something with my writing skills, so last year I started writing my first book in my free time. My choice to start dancing Kizomba and Salsa in 2017 had the same reason as my writing and I love every step I took since then. Follow Lotte on her facebook page
